Daddy don’t touch me there!

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I’m seated across a man,I used to call him daddy
They have the best cappuccinos in this cafe
Well,time flies real fast,and you can’t take it back
His eyes are sunken, age? Or maybe too much work
success doesn’t come easy,its not a result of luck
Daddy is a workaholic,didn’t have time for mummy
But Mr Jameson our next door neighbor did,
That’s why mummy left
This man I’m seated across,his face is pale
Lips are thinner than I remember
His face is still finely chiseled
And his body well toned
But his eyes…..his eyes tell of a man
A man so sad,a man who had lost all without knowing
I was nine,daddy’s preety little girl
All day in his big arms I would curl
When mummy spanked me,to him I would turn
We were like sanjay and craig,one big team
I was half asleep in my bed,having a sweet dream
I heard the door to my room creak,it was daddy
The air was cold,really really chilly
My spongebob clock said 12.30am
“Are you up sweetheart?” He said
“I am now daddy,”
“I want us to play a game”
“Yes! Yes! I love games daddy”
daddy told me to lie down on my back
Slid my pink panties to the left,and gave his lips a smack
Grabbed my undeveloped hips,like I was a snack
“Don’t tell mummy,she’ll give you a spank”
Mummys spanks hurt,so my mouth I would keep shut
I felt something push through my body
It hurt so bad,more than when I fell on the lobby
“Daddy you’re hurting me” I cried
But daddy kept heaving,sweating,panting
Faster and faster he kept thrusting
This was a sin,the devil was dancing between the sheets
Now his hand over my mouth,oblivious to my screams
His cold eyes saw the terror and pain in mine, a bad dream
My soul he crashed, as the world went dark
Without permission, without consent
My innocence he reaped,one crime he could not repent
I’m hurt,I’m bleeding,my body is stinging
He is contented ,ignoring my pleading
“Our little secret honey” he whispered in my ear
That made daddy my only fear
Tears gracefully rolled down my face
As daddy’s silhouette left my room
Young I was,but knew what daddy had done
He took the one thing I couldn’t take back
Just shows the ‘real man’ he lacks
He left no bruise,no scar
At least not any that others could scan
As my mouth I kept shut

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Every time the clock 12.30 struck

Daddy kept removing my skirt

My flower he still wanted to pluck
My soul he smashed,my body he hurt
I pleaded with him to stop
But daddy just wouldnt keep off
When at last I confided in mummy
My ass she beat,”I’ll cut your mouth you lying dummy!”
So when I could,my bags I packed
For a better life I searched
Time has passed,i still feel daddy’s cold hands touching me
Picture perfect memories are not the images I see
When I look back and think of a younger me
I am daddy’s little girl with the trusting smile no more
Torn between the child I never was and the woman I’ve become
The coffee is here,about time,
but I have the feeling I’ll need something stronger
What could daddy possible say now,to make things between us better,
To rub off his everlasting scent from my body
To stop the images of those nights from haunting me
To give me back the childhood I deserved
What?
Do I have the strength to listen to him? To what he says ,consider?
Why did I even ,to come here bother?
So I pay for our cappuccinos
And walk away
Maybe one day I’ll confront my demons
Maybe one day I’ll be able to stomach his presence
Maybe one day my tongue won’t get too numb to talk
Maybe one day I will forgive him.

Written by Sharon Winnie